S H E N A N I G A N S
by Kishes
Summary: Pretending to be a couple isn't easy, you know? Especially when musician Kamui Gakupo isn't really faking about how he feels towards man-hating diva, Megurine Luka! GakupoxLuka, Rated M for extreme language and perversions in this CRACK fic
1. Diva

**Author's notice:** I hope you enjoy my fanfic and I'll try to make it as funny as I can. Some of the chapters may have contents of a few Vocaloid songs you may know, but I will inform you that they do not belong to me and the story will not be much of a song fic.

**Disclaimer **– I do not own Vocaloid or any of songs used.

Just Be Friends by Dixie Flatline

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**S**_h_E**n**_A_n**I**_g_A**n**_S_

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**D**_**I**_**V****A**

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"_Could you look over here, please?"_

She turned her face away.

**SNAP!**

"_Can you show me a smile?"_

Instead, she pouted her rosy angel lips cutely.

**FLASH!**

"_Love the camera, Lulu!"_

A death glare darted at the nervous photographer.

"**WHAT THE FUDGE? AHHHHHHHH!"**

"Luka, you got to calm yourself down in front of the paparazzi," her manager Kaito sighed and pushed the magazine towards the pink haired woman.

"That photographer should have known better than to mess with me," Luka scowled even wider when she caught a glimpse of the bold heading on the top: **WHAT THE FUDGE? PSYCHO DIVA MEGURINE LUKA MAULS INNOCENT PHOTOGRAPHER TO DEATH AT RED CARPET AWARD CEREMONY? **_That guy was far from being innocent._ Luka frowned as she remembered he's the same photographer that tried to take pictures of her in the shower and other female celebrities not fully clothed. The pink haired woman curved her lip a bit when she saw the picture of her clawing the pitiful photographer's eyes out with her fine manicured, aqua painted nails.

"Luka-san, you still cannot keep doing this," he chastised. "You just started four months ago and people are already thinking badly of you. Just two weeks ago, you threw a chair at a famous movie director!"

"Hey, I found salmon in my dressing room instead of tuna," Luka shrugged. "Everyone knows I hate salmon."

"Please, Luka. Just promise me you won't do anything violent or impulsive in front of the press. You need positive attention, not this," her blue haired manager grimaced at the bloody sight on the cover. _She's such a violent woman… _He shivered. This is why he doesn't mess with the PINKY DIVA.

"Hmmph," Luka scoffed. "Alright, I'll _**try**_ to be good."

"That's all I ask for," he rubbed his temples. "Please go to your rehearsal. You need to finish recording your new single as soon as possible."

"You can't rush art," Luka answered bluntly while getting up from her seat to walk out of her manager's office.

As soon as he heard the thud of his door closed, he groaned to his assistant, "Sonika-san, I need some aspirin…"

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"Okay, let's take it from the top!"

The upbeat song played and seemed it would be a happy song.

Luka sang when it was her cue for the intro.

_Just be friends All we gotta do  
Just be friends It's time to say goodbye  
Just be friends All we gotta do  
Just be friends Just be friends..._

She sounded so melodiously and the room was surrounded by her serene, soothing voice that didn't seem to match the cold heart woman singing behind the glass window. Some of the staff blushed as she sang the high notes with such passion. _So pretty…_ They all drooled.

The chorus played and some of the staff had tears in their eyes as they listen carefully to the lyrics and her resounding voice.

_koe wo karashite sakenda  
hankyou zankyou munashiku hibiku_

Just as Luka was singing the first line of the bridge, the producer shouted out, "CUT THE MUSIC!" The catchy song abruptly stopped and the pink haired woman once again glared with her lovely aquamarine eyes.

"What gives, Leon?" Luka tapped her foot impatiently.

_Typical diva attitude_. The blond haired producer rolled his eyes. He replied, "You're missing the emotion. Where's the longing and the sadness? Don't let the beat of the song fool you."

"I was singing it just fine," Luka coldly answered and crossed her arms. _I know heartbreak, you yellow wise ass!_

"You sang beautifully, but you lack something," Leon frowned.

"You just said I sang beautifully," Luka scowled back. "How is there a flaw? And what is _**something**__?_" Her voice hinted a sneer.

"I don't know, Miss Megurine," he retorted back. "But I'm guessing it has to do with that little attitude of yours."

_You retarded asshole!_ Luka gritted her teeth. _He doesn't know anything. How dare you call yourself a connoisseur of music, Mr. I-only-had-a-one-hit-single-that-no-one-even-remembers-anymore!_

"Until you get over your diva behavior, I will not listen to you any further," the blond producer took off his headphones. "I guess your new single will just have to delay."

_Go to Hell's deepest pit and rot there for all eternity, bastard! _"Screw you," Luka managed to spat out and then stormed to the exit door. She twisted the knob and opened the door to see a purple haired man gawking at her.

"You're quite attractive in person," he smiled brightly.

_Pervert! _"Get the Hell out of my way!" Luka shoved him and rushed out before the paparazzi could catch a glimpse of the mad expression on her face. The purple haired man raised a brow at the pink haired woman running from him before looking at the producer.

"Mr. Kamui, I'm so grateful to see you here again," Leon beamed with appreciated joy.

"Oh please, Leon! You know me so well! Just call me Gakupo!" he smiled brightly. "By the way, was that Megurine Luka I just saw?"

"Ah yes, she's a troublesome artist," the blond muttered. "She got upset after I told her that her song needs some work."

"Do you still have a recording of it?"

"Right here," he pressed the replay button and recording of "Just be Friends" once again filled the room.

_Luka does sing nicely without the editing._ Gakupo noted. _Something's off though…_

"She's a good singer and is a pretty girl, but she's damn uptight," Leon complained. "This song is inspiring and I'm surprised she wrote it herself. I see opportunity coming up for this girl. Can't you help her out, Gakupo?"

Gakupo chuckled, "I don't know. Don't you think I might ruin her reputation by annoying her rather than help her?"

The blond haired man smirked, "Piss her off? Maybe a bit. Help her? Definitely a yes. I don't think she's really a diva. I feel she's stressed out, but I believe there's a much more sincere side to her."

"She might kill me in process. I just read the article about the mauled photographer," Gakupo grinned.

"Oh, I don't think she can. I mean, who can resist you, Kamui Gakupo?"

"Good point," the purple haired man agreed conceitedly and they both laughed. The purple haired man's eyes trailed to the coffee table where he saw the clutter of her keys with a pink octopus keychain. "Aren't those Luka's keys?"

"I guess so. You better give them to her. It's going to pour later," Leon shook his head. "One thing I know for sure is Luka hates the rain. Better hurry to her, Gakupo."

"I got it," he nodded and grabbed the keys and an umbrella on his way out through the door.

Luka growled when she remembered she left her keys back in the studio. "Guess this means I got to leave my new Bentley here," Luka muttered. The clouds grew greyer like her mind was filled with negative thoughts. _This is all Takashi's fault! If he didn't ruin my day with his stupid comment, I wouldn't be this pissed off! That retard doesn't know emotion! _Her bottom lip quivered when she thought of the past. _Please not again…_

Luckily as well as unfortunately, a rain drop landed on her head. _Oh God no. _She mentally groaned and her frowned widened as more water was falling from the clouds. The soft shower of the rain became an upcoming downpour beating her down with its pelting liquid. Luka bit her lip and walked. She thanked herself that she didn't wear any makeup today or else she would look completely hideous from the rain.

_Why does everything suck? _She resisted sobbing out loud.

Flashback:

"I-_I don't understand," Luka trembled. _

_The dark haired boy sighed,_ "_I know it's hard to understand at first, but we'll be happier soon." It was going to end harder than he planned._

"_But I'm happy with you," she cried. He softened his expression as he never liked to see her cry._

"_I'm sorry Luka. Someday you'll understand… my friend," he quickly confessed and walked away without looking back at the crying pink haired girl._

End of Flashback

"Hello, Miss Luka." She snapped out of her reminisce to turn her head towards the baritone male's voice and frowned. She saw Gakupo all dry and perfect looking under his wide black umbrella that shielded the rain from his godlike body. Luka glared at him with envy.

"Oh, it's you," she scoffed. _How can I forget that insanely long purple hair and weird shade of purple eyes? _Her teeth chattered, "Would you just leave me alone?"

"No and I have a name, you know?" he grimaced. _What's with this, woman? _He replied, "I apologize for not properly introducing myself before. My name is Kamui Gakupo and you need to get out of this rain, Luka-san."

"Great, now I have more information that I can care less about," Luka rolled her eyes. "I don't need your damn opinion. Just go away."

_Stubborn! _Gakupo mentally fumed, but calmly responded, "You seem bothered today."

"Gee, thanks for noticing the obvious," she muttered. "Now I can get on with my pathetic life." As she was about to walk away, Gakupo hastily grabbed her wrist.

"Wait," his voice dropped an octave. Luka shivered slightly from the cold and his tone. _Odd… _Unknown warmth spread to her cheeks. "I only want to help you."

"Let go of me, Kamui-san," she gritted through her teeth. _I hope no one sees us… _"Thanks, but no thanks for I can take care of myself. Now goodbye!"

"Why are you leaving so soon?" the purpled haired man looked concerned at the drenched Luka. He tried to take a step close to her to let the umbrella cover her until she glared at him that caused him to withdraw.

"Because we have nothing to talk about, Kamui-san," she replied icily and snatched her wrist back. "You and I aren't even acquaintances and I would like it to stay that way!"

He was speechless from her coldness and managed to inquire, "…Why are you like this?"

She hesitated to reply, but answered, "I don't need to tell you…" her pink bangs fell over her pretty face. _Please just stay away, Kamui-san… Far away enough that you can't know me…_

"I won't hurt you," he whispered, trying to take another step closer.

"No," she flinched and back away from him. _Just get away from me…_

"Lu-"

"Just quit saying my name, already!" she cried out. Luckily it was pouring so Gakupo couldn't tell the difference between raindrops and teardrops.

"I'm just trying to help you," Gakupo said seriously. "You need to trust me, Luka-san."

"Oh no, I'm not trusting anyone anymore, damn it!" Luka shook her head and more tears mixed with the rain fell from her long pink hair. "Just **GO AWAY**!" She started to back up.

"Luka!"

"No…" she whispered and continued backing up.

"But Luka," his voice hinted worry and frustration. _Stop…_

"No more, Kamui-san," she turned her head to the direction of her home, but dozens of blinding lights from a large crowd that was simultaneously speaking and asking hundreds of questions began to close in on the pink haired woman. "Just get away!" Luka covered her ears as they were getting closer. How deafening to hear so many voices. "Please go-"The flashes of photographers blinded her to see white. She felt someone's hand reaching for her as she fell into complete darkness…

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"Luka," his low voice breathed. "Are you awake?"

She refused to crack open an eye and continued to be silent. A sigh replied her action, which made her slightly satisfied. _Finally he's gone. _She faintly smiled and buried her face into the plush warmth beneath her head. It felt so soft, but how she couldn't put her finger of what it was…

_I didn't know my hotel room maid already changed the pillows. _She thought and breathed in the scent. The aroma of lavender filled her nostrils. _Wait a minute. No one knows I like the scent of lavender… _Next, she cuddled against the strange object and earned a gentle pat on the head. _Whoa, what the Hell? _This time, she forced one eye to looking around her surroundings. _This isn't my room! _

Everything was purple and black elegant furniture rather than fluffy pink. The scent of lavender was even stronger in the air. _If this isn't my room and this isn't my pillow, then what did I just – _She was scared to look up and shuddered at the thought of a complete stranger.

Twitching, Luka's aquamarine eyes looked up to meet a pair of amethyst colored eyes. "Morning, sweetie!" he chirped.

_It's even worse than a stranger! _Luka couldn't help, but shriek out enough for maids and butlers working in the residence of the famous musician Kamui Gakupo!


	2. Reputation

**Author's notice:** Sorry for the short chapter!

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_What the Hell? Where am I? _The pink haired woman freaked out.

All she remembered was myriad of bright flashes and the crowding people closing in on her, but definitely not this! Luka did not remember nor did she want to remember how she ended up cuddling on the lap of Kamui Gakupo!

"Want any breakfast, Luka-chan?" Gakupo smiled as if nothing was wrong.

The pink haired woman sat up and gawked at him, "How can you calmly talk about breakfast while I-I'm in your bedroom?"

"I carried you out of that paparazzi mob. You were really being harassed by those reporters and photographers," he chuckled. A maid entered the room with a tray with a silver platter on top of it. Gakupo said, "Please leave it there on the table, Miki. Thank you very much for your service." He smiled sincerely. The red haired maid smiled back and curtsied before leaving the room.

_He treats the service kindly? _Luka raised a brow and thought of the time she carelessly tossed her used clothes to her personal maid back at her hotel room to get them to the dry cleaner.

"Breakfast?" he asked as he carried the tray with the silver platter to Luka. "I tried to get something decent for you to eat as you'll need your strength today." Gakupo placed the tray on her lap. "Please eat," he smiled.

Luka bit her bottom and reluctantly took off the top of the platter. She saw a plate of fried eggs and four pieces of crispy bacon. _I'll probably get fat from this stuff, but I'm too hungry to care. _Gakupo handed her a silver fork and she ate in silence with him carefully watching her. Just as she was about to stab her fork into one of the eggs, her eyes moved to a strange purple piece.

She twitched slightly, "what is _that_?'

"Oh, it's just a slice of baked eggplant that I usually have. I apologize as I should have told Miki-san to not add that," he grinned. "I'm eggplant fanatic. If there's anything you want, I could call her back in."

_Tuna!_ She impulsively thought, but it would be a bit awkward to eat it as breakfast. "No, its fine," she nodded and hesitated to pick up the demented piece of eggplant and put it in her mouth to slowly chew it. _Not bad, I mean it's not as good as tuna, but it's still good._

"Now to think of a way for you to safely leave my home without the press knowing," Gakupo tapped a long finger against his cheek. "We wouldn't want the paparazzi to attack you again."

Luka shuddered a bit and nodded.

"And you're working on a new single as I heard," Gakupo added.

"I was, but I need a producer," Luka sighed. _Damn that Leon!_

"I could be your producer," he thoughtfully added.

"Really?" Luka raised a brow as she set the empty plate down. _What else can this guy do?_

"Yes, I really can," Gakupo smiled. "I'm sort of on a break from making music. I still love it. Just I haven't had an inspiration lately. Anyways, what do you have to say to that?"

"I don't know," Luka looked down a bit. "Aren't I asking you a bit much now?"

"Not really," Gakupo chuckled and picked up the tray. "I'm willing to help you out." He once again smiled sweetly.

"Well thank you, Kamui-san," Luka nodded.

A fine arched purple eyebrow twitched. "On one condition, no formal titles for me. Just call me Gakupo or even Gakupo-kun!"

"I'll stick with Gakupo," Luka muttered to herself.

"Come, we should go to the studio to record," Gakupo held out a hand in front of her.

Luka stared at his long hand and back at his kind violet eyes. She felt her heart beat quicken. _No, you don't need him! Screw him; you can do fine on your own! _Luka replied, "Okay." And took his hand as he helped her up from her seat and she felt a blush creeping back to her cheeks. Luckily Gakupo hadn't noticed.

"And one more thing, Luka-chan," Gakupo stopped before reaching for the door handle. "In order for you to make it out of here and in the music business, I need you to cooperate with me a bit. Some of these things will be difficult." He looked hard at the floor.

_He is a pervert then! He's asking for sex! Tell him no thanks! _Luka asked, "What are they?"

"In order for you to get by, you need to…" his voice trailed.

"I need to?" Luka inquired further while fiddling with the fork in her hand. _That effing horny bastard!_

"To pretend that you're my lover," he plainly answered.

Luka looked at him with eyes full of astonishment, disbelief, hurt, and anger.

Gakupo frowned slightly. _I knew this was a bad idea, Leon…_

Flashback:

"_Wait Gakupo!" Leon called and the purple haired man turned around before he could walk out of the studio._

"_What is it, leon?"_

"_I need you to also be Luka's producer," the blond haired man stated with a serious look on his face._

"_You're kidding me," Gakupo raised a brow. "The press will get suspicious."_

"_Not as much if you ask her out," he shrugged. "Perhaps, you'll find what you were looking for from the last time we talked."_

"_So you're asking me to ask out someone who I barely know for the purpose of benefiting my own reputation?"_

"_Not just anyone. It's Megurine Luka. Don't worry about being selfish! It'll benefit her too. Just make some sort of pact with her," Leon explained. "She'll use you for uprising fame and you'll use her for __**it**__."_

_Gakupo pondered a bit. 'I still need that inspiration for my next project. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad for just using her…' He replied, "I still don't know. What if she refuses?"_

"_Oh, trust me. As I said before, who can resist you, Gakupo?" _

_Gakupo nodded and walked out._

End of Flashback

"So what do you have to say, Luka-chan?" Gakupo asked.

"I don't know," she put on a poker face. "What makes you think I'll say yes?" _Don't say yes, don't dare say yes! _

_She has a point. I can't tell her I'm using her… _"I thought you would like to avoid bad attention from the media. If we're _**together**_ and we're working together, there would be less humiliating rumors going around," he replied.

"Good point," Luka nodded. "Alright, I accept Kamui-san."

Gakupo cleared his throat.

"I mean I accept, Gakupo," she corrected.

"Then it's settled. From today on, we're a celebrity couple," Gakupo smiled. "Of course, I won't make you do anything like kiss me in public, but do you mind holding hands?"

"I don't mind," she bluntly answered. "You can only touch my hand, but my entire body is off limits."

Gakupo joked, "So you can kill me with martial arts?"

Luka nodded and an awkward silence filled the room. _She's dangerous! _Gakupo mentally panicked.

"I'm a black belt in karate and a pro in taekwondo," she warned while her thumb pressed down on the sterling silver fork to bend it in half without any visible strain.

"I got it," he gulped. _My fork!_

"Good," Luka smiled sweetly. "Let's be on our way, _**honey**_." And she walked ahead of him.

As he watched her retreating figure, Gakupo shuddered. _What the Hell did I just drag myself into?_


	3. Golly

**Author's rant: **Awesomesauce!

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"By the way, Gakupo," Luka quietly said and stopped in the middle of her tracks. They were in the middle of the corridor.

"What is it, Luka-chan?" Gakupo asked concerned. _Oh no, what is she up to?_

"Do you mind if I take a quick shower?" Luka plainly asked. "I feel disgusting if I don't bathe within 12 hours."

_Safe for now… _"Oh sure, the bathroom is over there to the right of the hallway," he pointed. "I'll ask Miki-san to bring you some fresh clothes. I'm afraid they aren't your type of clothing, but they'll surely fit you." Gakupo called on a maid nearby.

"As long it isn't frumpy," Luka replied and walked to the bathroom with the maid carrying fresh towels followed behind.

_What is frumpy? Why do women say that all the time? _He pondered and waited a bit.

_I hope she is __**IT**_. Gakupo bit his bottom as soon as there was no one in front of his sight. _Maybe she won't be so difficult. I mean how hard could it be to change someone?_

Long silence…

_It would be extremely hard when trying to change Megurine Luka… _He mentally sobbed. The purple haired man decided to walk downstairs to his kitchen and fetched himself coffee. Patiently he waited thirty five minutes.

_Jeez, what's taking her so long? So much for a quick shower. _Gakupo tapped his foot and looked at the clock. _We're going to be stuck in traffic if she doesn't hurry… _He sipped his coffee carefully.

He finished the rest of his coffee and walked back up the stairs to head to the bathroom to see the red haired maid cleaning it.

"She isn't here," Miki replied and continued scrubbing the floors on her knees.

"Any idea where she could have went?"

"Nope, I'm sorry," she shook her head.

_Damn… _Gakupo walked around asking the staff where the pink haired woman could have gone. Giving up, he sighed and decided to maybe go back to his bedroom to relax before looking for her again. He twisted the handle and pushed the door forward. The first thing he smelled was a fresh strawberry scent and a hint of French vanilla and the first thing he saw was flesh that made his violet eyes widened… _Oh… Golly… _

There Luka stood completely naked in glory. The light in his bedroom radiated her body semi wet from just recently getting out of the shower and her damp hair hanging over one side of her slender shoulder. The long tresses barely covered her naturally enormous breasts and rosy nipples the size of a tiny strawberry! _A super Double D-cup bust? _Gakupo felt his crotch area throbbing madly. His lustful eyes trailed down to her to her voluptuous curves and hips formed and as soon as he wanted to look even down for her womanhood her beautiful aquamarine eyes darted towards him.

With a banshee ear deafening screech, not much was said except…

**FUCK YOU!**

And all Gakupo saw before blacking out was a hand coming towards his face and the adorable pissed off face of Megurine Luka…

_Pretty… _

**SMACK!**

And finally…

**OOF!**

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"_Wake up..." a voice whispered._

"_Am I dead?" Gakupo asked._

"_No, you're not dead," the voice muttered._

"_Where am I?"_

"_This is your conscious speaking," the voice bluntly answered._

"_Oh, so what's up me?" Gakupo asked._

"_You blacked out after you walked in while Luka was changing."_

"_How was I supposed to know there was someone changing in my room? You don't expect naked strangers in your own bedroom…" Gakupo hazily replied._

"_She's going to kill you, Gakupo. Beware…"_

"_Wait me! You haven't told me how it could be stopped!'_

"_WAKE UP!"_

"_Huh?"_

"GOD DAMNIT, WAKE UP!" her voice yelled.

Gakupo cringed and opened his eyes to see a blurry image of Luka fully dressed and crossing her arms.

"You've been knocked out for twenty minutes," Luka huffed. Her face was blushing with embarrassment and anger.

"That was painful," Gakupo groaned.

"You deserved it for peeking."

"I wasn't peeking at you!" Gakupo fumed.

"Then why the Hell did you walk in and continued checking out my body for over a minute?" she demanded while tightening her fist. "You're already taking advantage of our situation now?"

"Nooo. I didn't know you were in my room changing!"

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking the door before entering?"

_What's with this woman? _"Yes, I have and why would I need to knock on my own bedroom door?" Gakupo defended. _Who knocks on their own bedroom door to expect a naked stranger? _The purple haired man winced, "I think the pain is spreading…"

"At least there's not much damage done to your face," Luka muttered and showed him a mirror. "Otherwise I could have mauled your pretty face to look distorted."

He looked at his reflection and saw a bright red hand mark. _You call this not much damage? This is noticeable! _Gakupo panicked as he felt the mark pulsing. _It's… ALIVE!_

"Don't worry, it can be covered," she smiled and held out a make-up kit.

"You're going to make me wear make-up?" _Guys don't wear make-up! I may look like a woman, but I am certainly 100 percent MAN and real men don't wear make-up!_

"Oh, quit being so masochistic, Gakupo! Tons of celebrity men wear make-up," Luka explained. "I'll just be using liquid foundation and sheer powder so it'll do a good job covering that red mark!"

"Fine," Gakupo gave in. _She's a woman so at least she knows how to handle make-up, right?_

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_I was dead wrong…_ Gakupo groaned at the covered mark. It was no longer red, but the tone she used didn't match to his skin at all! Luka's skin is porcelain, while he's… just sort of fair skinned. _You don't give a slightly tan person make-up that an albino uses!_

"I thought you were a pro…" he said with a glum look on his handsome, but badly covered face.

"And I thought your skin would be lighter than I would expected," Luka defended. "Now quit whining already. I called a limo to come get us."

"Wait, did you-"

They heard a honk outside and Luka looked out the window, "Our ride is here!"

She took Gakupo's hand and practically dragged him along with her. The butlers and maids raised a brow at the "couple" of the pink haired woman pulling their master's hand as if she wore the pants of the relationship.

When Gakupo and Luka got outside, they greeted their driver.

"Normally, I thought girls use make-up to cover up hickies and bite marks, but never guys on their cheeks," the driver snickered.

Luka just smiled while Gakupo glared at the driver.

"Lady first," he politely opened the car door for her.

"Thank you," Luka nodded and stepped into the vehicle.

"And _you_," the driver once again snickered. Gakupo swore he heard the driver say "man slave" before shutting the door.

The driver got into his seat and mentioned, "Check the mini fridge for champagne and push the buttons to your left for the specialty!"

"What specialty is he talking about?" Gakupo whispered to Luka. _Please God, she didn't!_

"Just take your shoes off," Luka grinned while untying her silver satin ribbon stilettos.

Gakupo reluctantly took off his black dress shoes and socks. _Oh she did…_

Luka pressed the button and below their feet appeared the foot massager. She pressed another button that made the wall on his side popped out a silver platter that nearly hit Gakupo's skill. _That could have given me head trauma! _He freaked.

Luka took the tray and took off the lid to get a perfect plate of twenty pieces of fresh sushi. She held the ivory chopsticks that lay on the plate and used them to pick up one piece and savored it in her mouth with a satisfied smile.

"I-Is that tuna?"

"Uh huh," she nodded and took another bite. "Want some?"

"No th-thanks," Gakupo shook his head and sank back into his seat sulking. _This woman… _


	4. Fred

**Author's rant:** Darn Fanfiction for taking away the dashes! RAWR!

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"We have arrived," the driver said as the black limousine halted in front of a tall building. Luka swallowed the last piece of sushi on her platter while Gakupo just sat still in his seat with wide eyes. _The bill!_ _What has that evil woman done?_

The driver opened the door for Luka who smiled when she got out. He smirked when he saw the famous Gakupo tremble his way out.

"Sweetheart, tip the nice man," she smiles while jabbing the purple haired man's ribs.

She hits hard! Gakupo grunted and dug into his pocket to pull out a twenty. The driver sneered, "Be sure to pay the bill during the evening."

"We won't need your service any further," Gakupo glowered.

"Sorry, but that's not possible sir."

"Why's that?" Gakupo's left eye twitched while the rest of his face tried to remain in a cool composure.

"Because of lovely Miss Megurine," the driver winked at Luka who giggled cutely. "She ordered the exclusive celebrity package. That means you paid to be passengers in my car until eleven fifty-nine P.M.," the driver grins.

Gakupo frowned and roughly grasped Luka by the wrist. She looked at him curiously while he dragged her to the side of the building.

"I could have driven us here," his tone was hard.

"I just wanted some sushi."

"I could have stopped at a real sushi bar for thirty dollars instead of paying a hundred dollars for the platter," Gakupo sighed. "Just promise me that you would inform me before using my credit card?"

Luka crossed her arms, "Yes, _master_. Now _**please **_let go of my arm." Her eyes turned to a cold shade of blue at the purple haired man.

Once Gakupo let go of his grip, dozens of flashes blinded the two.

"Over here Kamui-san!"

"Smile at the camera, love birds!"

Luka looked startled at the cameras while Gakupo smiled and said, "I think my love and I had enough photos."

One reporter rapidly asked, "At least tell us how you hooked up with the _man-hater,_ Megurine Luka."

Luka glared at the man who shrank intimidated into a corner.

"That's easy, I been a fan of Luka's music since she joined the company. I was smitten by her seducing husky voice and that beautiful face of an angel surrounded by luscious pastel locks," Gakupo chirped.

_That was corny! _Luka silently fumed. _The paparazzi will never believe this crap!_

"That's wonderful! Can I get one more photo with her?"

_Are you that stupid to believe this? _Luka pouted in front of the camera while the purple haired man wrapped an arm around her.

"Megurine. What do you love about Kamui-san?" one sneering female reporter asked all of the sudden.

_I haven't thought of a lie yet! _Luka gulped.

"She loves everything about me!" Gakupo quickly defended.

_I'll punt you later for being that arrogant! _Luka grinned like the Cheshire cat.

"Excuse me, Kamui-san. I was directing my question to Megurine-san," the woman smirked at her.

Luka mentally scowled while her face was plastered with her fake grin, "Well… what I l-lo…" _Shit! _The pink haired woman blushed furiously.

"Love?" the reporter finished off.

""Yeah that. What I love about Gakupo is…" her voice trailed off as her face was still red. _Why can't I lie between my teeth?_

The crowd of reporters began to huddle in closer to the pink haired woman while Gakupo watched her curiously.

"Is?" Gakupo accidently asked. Reporters acted fast and scribbled down in their notepad of what they heard the male idol admitted.

The tension was making Luka sweat. "Umm," she stuttered. _I'm lost of words!_

"Well?" the reporter frowned and tapped her foot impatiently. "Come on, out with it."

_You can say it Luka! Just say you love the things he says! _Her eye caught a glimpse of the bulge from his pants and blurted, "He's big!"

The reporters gasped while Gakupo stood there stiffly.

_WHAT THE HELL? Why did I say that just now! _Her whole face turned red and berserk as the reporters were asking non-stop about the intimate part of their _relationship._

"Run," Gakupo managed to say. When Luka's feet refused to move from her spot, he grabbed her bridal style and ran away from the obnoxious crowd.

The reporters took notice of this and chased the two who were shocked by Luka's bad choice of words. Gakupo fled to the door and dug into his pocket to pull out his ID and flashed it in front of the monitor. As soon as he escaped with Luka in his arms, the bullet proof glass door shut in front of the mobbing reporters that yelled and banged on the glass:

"Wait! Kamui-san, you haven't told about how big Luka is!"

"Do you know her three sizes?"

"PINK FOR HENTAI!"

"Did you guys remember to put the helmet on the soldier before sending him to war?"

"USE TROJAN!"

"How many times have you guys done-"

He unleashed the black curtain to cover the sight of the leeches and tried to catch his breath while Luka remained stoic.

"They'll go away."

"I would love to live a day without running into those scum bags," Luka muttered.

Gakupo chuckled, "Then you have to give up fame or disguise yourself."

"They'll pick up anything," the pink haired woman frowned. "I'm certain they won't easily after what I said out there."

"It's easy to make mistakes. Although I didn't expect you to make a mistake that_** big**_," he looked at her with an amused look on his handsome face.

Luka looked away, "I was nervous and didn't know what to say."

"Alright I'm sorry for offending you, Luka-chan," Gakupo sincerely apologized. "Now let's begin recording so we have half of the single done by today."

Luka smiled slightly and followed the purple haired man to the sound studio in the back.

"Don't worry about anyone barging into here. This is my own private sound booth that only I have access to," Gakupo explained.

Assured, Luka nodded and stared blankly at the microphone in front of her. _Will he criticize me?_

"Want to let out anything?"

With a puzzled look she asked, "What?"

"Do you want to sing a scale or do some breathing exercises?" Gakupo raised a brow.

"No, thanks," Luka shook her head.

"I think you should."

The pink haired woman snapped an angry glare at him, "I'm fine. Thank you Gakupo."

"I'm serious. It'll help," he claimed. "I always singed a scale before beginning."

She gritted her teeth, "That's nice. I have my own method though."

"I'm just offering," Gakupo shrugged.

"I know."

"Ok, then please begin," he gestured to the mic.

_Idiot. _She scowled and waited for her cue to sing in the upbeat song.

_Just be friends_

_All we gotta go is just be friends._

_It's time to say goodbye._

_Just be fri-_

"Cut, one moment please," Gakupo called by his booth.

"What is it?" she impatiently asked. _Is he another, LEON?_

"I just want to understand something," Gakupo looked suddenly stern.

"Which is?"

"How did you pronounce that first line?" he inquired.

Luka raised a brow. "Just be friends?"

"Yeah, that. It that English?"

"Yes, it's English," Luka replied. _Not an English speaker? _"Something wrong with that phrase?"

"Nothing, I like it. From my work as a musician I've rarely heard someone else who can pronounce that fluent," Gakupo admitted. "Most of the time, it's just Japanese mixed with English and it doesn't very clear."

"I'm a little different than most people," she answered. "English is almost my native tongue."

"I see," he examined her face. "So are we doing well together, _fred_?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said are we doing well together, _**fred**_?" Gakupo asked again.

Luka giggled a little.

"What's wrong, _fred_?"

"Nothing, it's just you're pronouncing it wrong," Luka covered her laugh with her hand. "You said 'fred'. It's _friend."_

"Fer-ed?" Gakupo enunciated.

"Fer-end," Luka corrected.

"Fuh-rend?" he asked again.

Luka smiled, "Close."

Gakupo pouted, "Ok I'm done with English 101. Onto your single!"


	5. Hello Kitty Taser

**Author's rant:** Last chapter was inspired by Gakupo's version of Just Be Friends! Heh, his English is really poor compared to his actual counterpart Gackt. However I think his attempt is cute as it's one of Luka's notable songs and tells us fans how much of an effort it takes for a non-English speaking Vocaloid to sing in English! Look it up on Youtube if you're curious. All I have to say about his version is:

Who the hell is "Fred", Gakupo? I can't even tell if he's saying Just be "fred", "thread", or "French"? **OwO** That lovable Gakupo!

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"Something's off," she frowned.

Nervously, he answered, "Don't worry about it. I'm sure it was just a rat. "

"If it's a rat, then I should take care of the problem," Luka replied, scavenging through her authentic leather Prada bag.

"Oh, don't let something as small as a rat distracts you. I'm sure it'll leave on its own… what is _**that**_?"

_I didn't think anything like that would exist!_ He shivered as the adorable, blank eyes bore a hypnotic gaze. _It's menacing and cute when it doesn't even have a mouth!_

"Quit gawking at my Hello Kitty taser and help me find that pesky rodent!" Luka fumed as sudden blue sparks crackled from the deadly, pink gun.

Gulping, Gakupo threw himself to the ground to search with her. _What did I drag myself into?' _he mentally sulked. _'Seriously, this woman belongs in an asylum! _He gritted his teeth as he crawled on the floor to check behind the shelves, '_After all, she gave me the diva treatment and then threatened me to kill me after saving her from the paparazzi a few times! It's almost as if-holy crap! Luka escaped from a military authorized rehabilitation center and is out to get revenge on famous celebrities who sing Miley Cyrus' songs in the shower… wait. I hate Miley Cyrus and how would Luka ever know something like that? So that's not even a possible reason… _

The purple haired man groaned when he found nothing behind the metal filing cabinet. _The best assumption is Luka has a multiple identity disorder! That would explain her irrational behavior. _He shuddered when he glanced at Luka's pink taser. _Hello Kitty… _

"Be sure to check under the desks," she grunted after checking the dusty backside of a couch. "Don't you ever clean in here?"

He rolled his eyes, "That's up to the service to decide, Miss Megurine."

'_Why should I be stuck with this inconsiderate woman? I can always find my inspirations from much polite and less hostile people!' _Gakupo bared his teeth while the pink haired woman was facing the other direction. '_I was so much safer before I met this-mad woman! I don't care if he requested me to help her out as there is no way I can help out someone who belongs in an asylum! It's time I say something and I don't care if she zaps me with that Sanrio contraption.'_

"Luka!" he blurted, but then quickly smacked his hand over his mouth. '_Wait I care! Hello Kitty scares me! She doesn't have a mouth!' _

"You found that rat yet?" she raised a brow.

'_The she-devil is onto me! I got to think of an excuse!' _Gakupo said, "Your hair looks lustrous today!"

She tilted her head cutely and asked innocently, "Really? Is it that shiny?"

"Yeah, it's gorgeous!" the purple haired man smiled widely. _'She fell for it?'_

Swaying her hips as Luka walked towards him, she huskily whispered close to his ear, "Do you know how much that _**means**_ to me?"

Shivering from delight, Gakupo sighed, "Tell me, darling."

"It means," she softly brushed her slender hand against the collar of his shirt gently. "**IT'S ABSOLUTE BULL SHIT.**"

The purple haired recoiled from her harsh words.

"Don't take me as a retard, Gakupo," Luka scowled. "Compliments are a true sign of weakness and cowardice."

Grimacing at his failed attempt, he replied, "You didn't have to scream in my ear."

Luka simply stuck her tongue at him. "Then quit messing around."

Another creak echoed throughout the hallway, which made the two shuddered. _Gigantic rats… or worse a ghost…_

"Why don't you check the front just in case they found their way into the building," she ushered him.

"This building is highly secured! No one could get in." the purple haired man huffed. _How dare she underestimate the power of modern technology!_

Luka crossed her arms, "That doesn't mean rats can't."

"Would you quit bickering at me?" he blurted. Just right after the lights turned off. _Just what I need! _Gakupo groaned.

"Great job, Kamui. Now the power's out," he felt her glare in the dark.

Rubbing his temples, he sarcastically answered, "I can see that, Luka. Thank you for pointing out the obvious."

She replied with a quiet hiss before they sat in awkward silence.

Breaking the silence, Gakupo quietly mumbled, "I'm sorry for my rudeness."

"What are you apologizing for?" Luka turned her head. "I was barely insulted."

His left eye twitched madly. _This woman!_

"Besides I've heard even worse crap coming from old ladies on bingo night," she smugly added.

_She upsets the elderly as well? _Dozens of rapid, angry thoughts began to full up as he tried to keep his cool from the massive tension. _Megurine Luka is just an obnoxious, egoistic, extremely selfish little- _The purple haired man continued to silently rant in his head. _How can she be my inspiration? No one as rude as her could ever inspire me to write a new hit!_

"Even though you're not talking to me, I can hear what you're muttering," the pink haired woman suddenly whispered.

_Shit! _Gakupo gulped, "I didn't say anything."

"Yes you did… you're talking about how you despise…" he heard a small sob. "My Hello Kitty taser…"

_Good thing she can't read lips._ Relieved, he replied, "I don't hate it. I-I just find it disturbing, and cute. You can still carry it around, just don't tase me."

She wiped her eyes, "Really?"

"Yes, I'm sure of it," he patted her hand. _She's so bizarre!_

The pink haired woman smiled while he smiled back at her. Another loud creak and the sound of a door being broken shook the two who ended up shivering in each other's arms.

"What is it?" Luka's bottom quivered.

"I honestly don't think it's a rat anymore," Gakupo squeezed her close to his chest.

Awkwardly she mentioned, "If we die here this very moment, I want to let you know I don't regret meeting you even though it's partially your fault that this'll be my fate."

Too scared to contradict her claim, he also admitted, "If we both die, I want to let you know I don't regret you either and I think I'm beginning to fall in-"

The steel door broke down and fell flat on the floor. A silhouetted figured carry a tiny minion whose eyes glowed red appeared between the door frame and staggered to move forward.

_It's a murderer! _

_IT'S SATAN RESPAWNED!_

A click of a button was heard and a bright golden beam of light was aimed at the two.

"What are you two doing hiding behind the desk like that?" a high pitch voice of a female asked coyly.

_The Hell? _Luka looked puzzled at Gakupo.

The lights were turned back on and there a girl with bright green hair wearing an orange jumper held a fat white rabbit in her hand.

"Is that you, Gu-chan?" Gakupo got up while blinking a few times to get a clearer look at the smiling girl.

"Why didn't you return my call, Gaku oni-chan?" she grumbled.

Gakupo pulled Luka up and answered, "I didn't know my cell was off. What are you doing here?"

"Gaku oni-chan told Gu-chan would help Nin-kun and Gu-chan record the last bit of the demo," Gumi whined.

Luka observed the girl closely. _The soprano voice, colors of a carrot, constantly talking in first person and an obese bunny; _

_She's obviously GUMI the scatterbrained veggie princess. My rival! _She balled her fists tightly.

"I told you next week I would help you," Gakupo sighed.

"Liar, Gaku oni-chan said today and today's the 29nd!"

"Gu-chan, it's the 22nd," the purple haired man scratched the back of his head.

The green haired girl looked confused and counted with her fingers. Realizing the mistake, she let out a loud giggle, "Oh Gaku oni-chan's right as always! Gu-chan forgot it's only the 22nd! Gomenasai!" Gumi bowed quickly.

"That's alright Gu-chan," Gakupo laughed lightly.

She smiled back at him and then diverted her apple green eyes at Luka who seemed lost with their absurd conversation.

"Who's she?"

"That would be my lover," he gestured to the pink haired woman.

"She sure is pretty!" Gumi chirped. "I've never seen someone with that shade of pink. Is it natural?"

Luka nodded. _Oh she's good!_

"Babe, do you mind if I just handle Gumi's problem before getting back to your song?" he asked.

_Sure I don't mind. I don't mind if you suddenly direct your attention to this complete stranger when you clearly were working with me first! _Attempting to not grit her teeth in front of them, she dazzled him with a plastic smile and nodded stiffly.

"Great, it'll just take a moment," Gakupo replied and diverted his eyes to the girl with a short attention span trying to grab her fat rabbit who was hopping away. A sweat drop appeared on the side of his head. "Gu-chan… you shouldn't chase Ninjin with a microphone! You'll scare him even more." Sighing, he went to help his scatter brained junior retrieve her pet.

_What a ditz,_ Luka rolled her eyes.

Bored, she observed her surroundings. Indeed Kamui Gakupo's a successful musician with his own brand new mansion, recording studio, limited edition guitars, and even his own line of clothes. _Wait, what? _Her eyes could not pull away from the fairly large poster that advertised his brand. _Well it's no Sean John. He only sells women attire!_ Luka examined the tiny print on the side. _Next month is featuring Megurine Luka for the secret petal collection? When did I ever agree to such a thing? Was I drunk?_ She continuously ranted in her head.

"Ok Luka-chan! Now I got things handled with Gumi, let's go back to your dem- why are you ripping up that poster?" Gakupo gulped. "And why are you clutching that lamp?"

"Explain this," she coldly said as she shoved the ripped section of the tiny print.

Skimming the writing, the purple haired man grinned and lowered her arm that was raised to strike him with a common household object. He merely chuckled.

"There's nothing funny about claiming I'm a model!" Luka huffed. "I never agreed to such a thing."

"You're right," he calmly said with a slight perverted smile on his face. "You didn't agree to model my newest collection."

She raised a finely arched brow.

"But if you agreed, it'll boost your self-esteem and even bring more popularity among fans."

"Just before I agree to anything, exactly what am I modeling?" she retorted back.

_She has to model it as it'll only match her… sort of, but Luka might not even accept it. I can't let my inspiration go down the drain! _Gakupo answered, "I can't tell you as you're not even sure in accepting the role."

Clenching her teeth, "Fine, I accept."

"That's not good enough, wifey," he playfully shook his head. "I'm going to need you to sign the contract." The purple haired man opened a nearby drawer to take out a thick packet of papers. "Just sign here, please!" _She's going to accept!_

"Then I won't sign it if it must be legal permission," she turned her head.

"Very well then," he feigned a sigh. "I'll just- ask Gumi to do it. After all that's what she came in for."

Fuming, she exclaimed, "Fine! I'll do it! Hand me those papers and a pen." Fiercely, Luka snatched the pen he handed her and rapidly scribbled her signature without reading the text.

_You may be intimidating Luka, but oh how you're so gullible to contracts and minor taunts! _He chuckled. "Perfect, now I will I will examine if you're suitable for the role!"

"T-there's more?" she twitched.

"It's barely anything," he smiled at her. "Just got to make sure if you're right for it. The contract is just a precaution!" Gazing into her clear aquamarine eyes he couldn't help, but think about her eyes resemble pure ponds. With her eyes heavy, her long, dark lashes lowered and framed around the rims of the almond shape.

"You done yet?"

"Well all I know is you have a pretty face," Gakupo replied. "You have a decent height as well. What are you, 5'4?" (162 cm)?"

"That's an exact estimation," she nodded. "Well?"

"I will admit you're well fit." _Maybe a little too much. She's curvy!_

"So do I pass inspection?"" she asked annoyed.

"I think you're good enough for the role," Gakupo said sternly. "However can you act?"

"Why?"

"Because you're going to play as Cutie Honey in my first launch of women lingerie collection!" he shouted gleefully.

**Side note: I**f you don't know who Cutie Honey is, then Wikipedia it, Google it, or check out the Cutie Honey Nico Douga Douga Vocaloid spoof on my homepage! Warning to all Luka fans, this was not created by me! Now laugh people and beware of possible nose bleeds!


	6. Smarticle

**Author's rant: **Gakuko is HOT! ._.

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Luka gawked– no. Luka glared at the once cheery purple haired man whose expression turned nervous. Actually Gakupo couldn't really tell the difference. Whether she's extremely pissed or just shocked from the news, he's a goner!

_Goodbye good looking face! _He winced as he waited for Luka to strike with her long, thin fingers to wrap around his precious neck. Instead, Gakupo heard a reluctant, hollow chuckle.

He raised a brow. "What's so funny, Luka-chan?"

"You are," she began laughing a little louder and more awkwardly. _She has such an abnormal, scary laugh! _The purple haired man shrieked in his head.

He gulped. "I am?"

"Yeah, I thought you just said I'm going to be acting as Cutie Honey for _your_ lingerie commercial," she giggled, wiping a small tear from the corner of her eye.

"Well I-"

"And as if I would ever do such a humiliating task!" the pink haired woman guffawed and slapped him on his back, hard.

Gakupo sheepishly laughed. _That hurts! She's even a maniac when she's in good humor!_

"I mean, if that was _true._ I would snap your spine in half like a Slim Jim while strangling you with your intestines!" she chuckled once more. "Ah you're such a funny guy, Gakupo!"

Well Luka," he started off slowly. "That is what you're doing…" _Oh golly, she's going to tear me apart!_

"Say what?" Luka bellowed as she snapped out of her hysterical moment.

"You just signed forty-five sheets of a legal document agreeing to model as Cutie Honey for a two minute long commercial under my direction," Gakupo tried to sound calm. _Here it comes! My poor spine and digestive system!_

She fell silent, before barely whispering, "I did?"

He nodded his head.

"I agreed to _**all**_ forty-five sheets?" Luka asked in a small, yandere voice. He swore he saw her eyes widened to look as empty as a doll as she tilted her head creepily.

It was becoming harder for him to nod. _Let an angel save me! No! Better yet, please send a-"_

Suddenly a fat white rabbit rapidly hopped to Gakupo's foot. _God, why did you send a rabbit as my savior? It's not even Easter yet! _He screamed in his head.

"Nin-kun!" a familiar female voice shouted. The green haired girl quickly scooped her pet off Gakupo's foot. _The rabbit is a hero! _

"What are you still doing here, Gumi?" Luka asked, slightly annoyed.

Gumi laughed, "Gu-chan told Nin-kun to stay still while Gu-chan buys carrots for Nin-kun. But Nin-kun didn't listen and ran from Gu-chan!"

"You expected a rabbit to stay still as a dog?"

"Of course! Nin-kun is a smarticle!" she chirped.

Luka's eyebrow twitched. _She said smarticle… _

"Is that the poster for Gaku oni-chan's next commercial?" Gumi's mouth formed an o as she set down Ninjin who hopped back to Gakupo's foot.

The pink haired woman nodded.

"Gu-chan's really proud of Lu-chan because not a lot of new singers get to shoot commercials! Gaku oni-chan must really, really like Lu-chan!" the green haired girl giggled.

Luka's expression softened a little. _Thank you, Saint Peter! It's a MIRACLE! _

"Oh by the way, Gaku oni-chan," Gumi turned her head to Gakupo who finally looked relieved. "Did Gaku oni-chan finally finish the single's copy as Gu-chan requested before?"

The pink haired woman's expression soured to a glower at the purple haired man. _You just had to say that GUMI! Now Satan's spawn knows that I lied and is back to targeting me! _Gakupo's face paled.

He tugged on the collar of his shirt nervously, "Yes, I did… It's in the sound booth, Gu-chan."

"Great!" Gumi beamed and skipped out of the room. "Come, Nin-kun! Let's not bother Gaku oni-chan and Lu one-chan any further!" The white rabbit hopped away to the green haired girl. _Nooo! Come back Ninjin! I need your Luka repelling powers! _Gakupo sulked.

Once Gakupo and Luka were the only ones in the room, she slowly said, "Relax, I won't kill you."

_That's a lie! She's just saying that so I'd let my guard down! _He backed to the wall. _That sadistic succubus!_

"I'm serious, Gakupo," Luka sighed. "I swear I won't hurt you."

"Do you pinky swear?"

She looked at him strangely.

"Pinky swears prove it," he said in a small voice.

Muttering to herself, she walked up to him with her pinky finger up. Hesitating to the commitment, he wrapped his pinky around hers and shook it gently. He swore he felt the warmth of her hands was spreading through his cold fingers. _This is so intimidate! _Gakupo heard his inner self. _There's a pull out couch over there. Get her to join you!_

_Are you kidding me? I just saved myself from getting mauled to death! _He argued with his conscience.

_Yeah, but damn! That body of hers! If you wanted her to warm up in a song, this would be a great idea! You know how to make her 'sing' high octaves? _His horny self asked, lecherously. Gakupo gritted his teeth.

"NO! I don't want to know nor do I ever want to know! Get out, already!" he cried out.

"Okay?" His conscience disappeared and a confused Luka was facing him. "I'm guessing you don't want to continue this rehearsal."

"No, no, no, no, no!" Gakupo quickly panicked. "It's not that! I swear it! I'm just… bothered by something in my head!" He heard a faint chuckle in his head.

She gave him a rare smile. "I know what you mean."

"You do?" he gawked.

"Maintaining me is tough," she softly spoke. "I wasn't always like this…" Luka looked down sadly with her arms wrapped around her petit figure. _She looks so much more helpless like that…_

Attempting to brighten the mood, he gently shook her shoulder. "Hey, it's already noon and you've been through a lot this morning. Let's go get some lunch. I'll treat you to some tuna."

Her wide aquamarine eyes looked up to meet his sincere amethyst ones.

"Come, let's get out before the paparazzi harasses us," he lent his hand out to her.

Smiling, she took his hand and followed him out of the door.

_Maybe… just maybe,_ Luka looked out at the window and saw a clear, blue sky. _It exists… _Her eyes glanced at the purpled haired man with a small smile on his face as he led her to the door.

Once the couple stepped out of the building, Gakupo gingerly looked both directions. He whispered to her, "Just stay quiet and follow my lead. Don't worry about them coming here as they don't know about this entrance."

Nodding her head, she and Gakupo took quick and quiet steps near the street.

"By the way, I grabbed this before," he handed her a paper bag. "You might find it handy."

Luka peeked in and saw a similar shade of purple as his hair. "Will this even work?"

Already properly placed over his head with another familiar shade of pink, he assured her, "It will."

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_Later…_

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A man of 5'11 with a rusted salmon shade of pink hair grasped hands with a lovely 5'4 tall woman with long, orchid colored hair walked by the crowd of photographers that were huddled near the front entrance of Kamui Gakupo's recording studio building. One of the earlier reporters that humiliated the couple looked at the two strangely dressed people that past them, suspiciously.

"Gakupo and Luka fanatics, I see," she said, somehow intrigued. "Can I have a moment with you two?"

The two halted in their tracks. The disguised Luka tried not to shake nervously as the reporters began to walk towards them.

Facing the crowd with their eyes shielded with dark sunglasses, the disguised Gakupo calmly answered in a well disguised higher male octave voice, "What would you like to ask us?"

"As Gakupo and Luka fans, you two look rather…" the female reporter tapped her chin as she examined the two. "Odd."

"How so?"

"Well why are you dressed as Luka and why is your girlfriend dressed as Gakupo?" she pointed the microphone to the disguised Gakupo.

"As Luka and Gakupo's love and music style, we intend to be as unique fans of the couple," he answered with that strange higher pitched male voice. "After all, it's good to stand out of the crowd as it's above the influence." He brushed the long synthetic bangs of the pink hair.

"I see," the reporter nodded, unsatisfied with his well explained answered. "How about you, miss? What's your reason for cross dressing like Gakupo?" the reporter looked carefully at the disguised Luka.

_Crap, she's onto me! _Luka bit her bottom lip as she tightened her grip in Gakupo's hand.

**Side note: **Gakupo was dressed as the gender bend version of Luka (aka Megurine Luki/ Luke) and Luka dressed as the gender bend version of Gakupo (aka Kamui Gakuko) They do exist in Vocaloid fandom as they're just alternated voices of the originals by lowering or raising the pitch!


	7. Tampon

**Author's rant: **_Kiss. Kiss. Fall in __**LOVE**__… say WHAT?_

WARNING: minor adult situation! Pew! Pew!

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_Come on! You can say it_, she anxiously looked down for an answer.

"I'm sorry, but she's foreign," Gakupo lied to the reporter.

_What the Hell are you up to? _Luka smiled widely as she nodded her head.

Unsatisfied, the reporter said, "That's fine. I happen to know a variety of languages for basics. What language does she speak?"

"English," Luka answered bluntly without a heavy accent in her voice.

"Ah, why are you dressed as Gakupo?" she asked, semi-fluently in English.

_Wow, I can't even tell if that's a poor Italian accent or an angry Mexican's… _The disguised Luka replied, "Kamui Gakupo shows many human characteristics in his music and fashion. I would say…" She hesitated.

Gakupo looked at her curiously. _You would say?_

"What would you say about him?" the reporter reflected Gakupo's thoughts.

Luka stuttered, "I would say Kamui Gakupo is… feminine."

Shock slapped him across the face. _WHAT? HOW DARE SHE CALL ME FEMININE? ME? FEMININE? I AM MALE! I AM THE FREAKING ALPHA MALE! _Gakupo's knuckles turned white. _I'll show her whose effing feminine!_

The crowd's jaw dropped.

"Why, yes. Gakupo does seem _feminine_," the purple haired man flashed them a sudden dazzling smile that even made Luka cringe. _What's he up to? _

Gakupo continuously gritted his teeth for a stiff, creepy smile. _Feminine…_

The paparazzi receded from them. The reporter asked cautiously, "I-Is everything okay?"

"Just peachy keen," Gakupo replied as sweet as rotten honey. _Come here, Luka baby! I'm going to-!_

The pink haired woman looked at him carefully, "Seriously, are you sure you're okay?"

"Everything is fine… my **fred**," _Take that, Megurine the mighty grammar Nazi! _He resisted a smirk when he saw her flash a quick icy look.

"D-did you just say _fred_?" the reporter asked, astonished.

"No, no, no! Luki said _**friend**_," Luka corrected.

"Don't be silly, Gakuko-chan! No need to be so punctual with our new _**FREDZ**_!"

Steam emitted from the top of her head. _Don't you dare speak Engrish or I'll! I'll-! _She silently plotted vicious acts in her head.

"Okay!" the already scared reporter shouted. "W-We better get going!"

"Do want us to say anything else, **FRED**?"

"Oh no! I mean- you've both said enough for a day's work! H-Hey I think I see Hatsune Miku over there!" The reporter lied and quickly she and the mob of media fled down the street to the supposed Hatsune Miku who magically appeared.

Once they were gone, Luka huffed, "That wasn't so bad."

A large stress vein appeared on the side of his head. _That wasn't so bad? It was beyond bad, woman! It was the __**worst**__ interview in history!_

"You didn't have to embarrass me, you know?" Luka slowly said. "I know what you were up to."

He felt her cold aura. _I forgot she watches 1000 Ways to Die! Don't kill me in 1000 ways!_

To Gakupo's surprise, her lips gently pecked his cheek. His face met her softened eyes. "That was probably the sweetest thing you've ever done," he felt the throbbing guilt in his chest.

"I-it," Gakupo stuttered. _Why am I lost of words?_

She tried not to giggle, "Next time, warn me when you're going to confuse those leeches. I would give anything to piss them off!"

The purple haired man chuckled slowly. "I will." _Does she really believe this? Dense…_

"We should be on our way," she noticed the slightly orange tinted horizon. He nodded in agreement and the two continued their way towards having a _normal_ meal… or so they thought…

.

.

Hours later…

.

.

Two figures dragged their feet as they walked down the street, uncoordinated. Alcohol was obviously heavy in their breath as anyone dare come near; especially a pious nun was unfortunate to cross paths with them.

"Drunks," the prudent aged woman muttered when she noticed the two. "Why, they have no temperance."

The hearing sensitive Luka blared out angrily, "Heys laduh! For ya infromashin meh and ma fuhrend gots tons of t-te-tampons!" her purple haired partner guffawed when she grabbed the familiar object and waved it in front of the nun's face. "See hare? SUPA ABSORBANT, BISH!"

Once the annoyed nun walked away, the drunken pink haired woman turned her attention towards Gakupo. "I tolds yous to not go in 'dere." She pointed an aqua nail towards the nearby pub.

"But I knoes the owna," Gakupo slurred, taking seat on the curb.

Luka face palmed her forehead. "Going to Meiko isn't lunch. It's to only get crunk."

"I'm sow-wah!" he whined, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Don't eva let it happen," the pink haired woman slapped him lightly on his back. Instead of earning a chuckle, the purple haired man slumped. She laughed, "C'mon Gakupoo, get up from dere." Luka shook his shoulder gently, which made him fall flat on his face. "Fersious, stop messin' wit meh. Just get off da floor! It got nasty roly-poly's!"

No response came from the still Gakupo. "Quit playin' wit meh, 'dis isn't fun-"Her eyes widened when she saw blood pooling around his head.

"Oh mah golly, y-you're bleeding," she whispered. Letting out an exasperated scream, people gathered around the confused and disheveled Luka who was busy trying to stop Gakupo's _bleeding _with the tampon in her hand.

"Noooooooo!" the pink haired woman flailed her arms. "IT'S NOT SUPA NO MORE!" Too bad for her, she collapsed on top of the unconscious purpled haired man.

.

.

.

.

_Am I dead? _All she saw white. A fuzzy, hazy white color was what she saw. That and a purple string dangling in front of her. "Pwetty…" Luka mumbled incoherently as she tried to catch it. It swished and taunted her by moving and dodging the clutch of her hands. "Imma not gonna let you go!" And once she did that, she heard a man yelp in pain. "Ha-ha…" She smiled and snuggled against the strand of Gakupo's purple hair. _Mine…_

"Kiyoteru… is she okay," Gakupo with a large patch over his forehead, winced as Luka was viciously tugging his hair rather than cuddling it. He pets the top of her head, which made her purr? _Odd…_

The tall brown haired man smiled behind his glasses, "Of course she is. Megurine-san is under the influence of morphine."

"You gave her **morphine**?" Gakupo looked dumbfounded at the grinning Kiyoteru. "Do you know what you have done?"

"Well she refused to cooperate with custody so we had to," he shrugged his shoulders. "It should be worn off tomorrow afternoon."

"You gave her that much?"

"Well she did try to tase the police." A sweat drop appeared at the side of the purpled haired man. _Perhaps letting her keep that Sanrio contraption wasn't a very good idea… _Kiyoteru went on, "She's just tranquilized so she won't be so violent."

Luka suddenly sprang up from the stretcher, causing her to tug harder onto his long tresses, "where's my purple llama?' Gakupo flinched. _She's a lunatic!_

"See? No harm in that now is there?" Kiyoteru chuckled, but quickly stopped as soon as the pink haired woman looked at him rather funny. "Is there a problem, Megurine-san?"

"Bloody hell," she gasped in an English accent. Gakupo and the doctor gawked at the pastel haired female.

"Oh… kay?" Kiyoteru mouthed.

"Show me your scar!" Luka suddenly giggled at Kiyoteru. "Together we shall kill he-should-not-be-named out loud and avenge your parents and Sirius!"

The purple haired man stared at Luka with disbelief before turning his head back to Kiyoteru who was rapidly jotting everything she said onto his clipboard. "What are you doing?"

"Well I have to write down what I'm observing from her behavior. It's all part of stand-"

"NO! You said she was just tranquilized!" Gakupo cried out. _If you dare do anything to her, I'll-!_

"Relax," Kiyoteru chided. "There's a _perfectly_, logical explanation for her thinking I resemble Harry Potter."

He tapped his foot impatiently for the brown haired doctor to declare the symptom.

"She's allergic to morphine," Kiyoteru replied simply.

Gakupo's jaw dropped. "That's it?" Behind him, Luka was already braiding his long purple hair. "Luka, not now!"

She pouted cutely, "You're no fun, _Gakupoo_!" Luka buried her face further into his long hair. "Lavender…"

"There's got to be an antidote!" the purple haired man roughly grabbed the brown haired man's shirt collar and shook him, madly. "I can't take her home this delirious! Do you know what the press will do to us when they see me _dragging_ a seemingly high Luka?"

"That you drugged and intend to rape her?" he answered simply.

"Don't say it as if it were a good thing!" Gakupo growled. He stood there frustrated, until a crimson blush painted his face when he felt something on his back… something soft. Something that resembles… bosoms…

"Gakupoo, I wanna go home!" Luka whined, innocently as her hands entwined around his neck. Even her fine thighs were wrapped around his hips as if she wanted a piggy-back ride.

The purpled haired man twitched, "Fix her already!" _I want my scary Luka back!_

Kiyoteru nervously laughed and scratched the back of his head. "Well look at the time! Here's my bill!"

Helpless, Kamui Gakupo groaned. _What to do…_

_._

_._

_._

"Gee, I'm glad to see you guys again," the limousine driver chucked. "You have no idea how bored I get and what's with the lady?"

"She's just tired," Gakupo gritted his teeth and he held Luka limp in his arms with her sunglasses on. _What to do with a horny, adorable Luka? NO! Not sex! Get out of my head, Conscious! WHERE'S THE JUSTICE?_

"So where to, boss?"

"Back to my mansion," Gakupo sighed.

Suddenly the pink haired woman giggled, "That tickles!" Then she pretended she was an airplane while balancing on the purple haired man's lap. "Whoosh!"

He glumly stared at the darkened sky through his tinted window. _Why aren't I happy again?_

Once they return home, none of the paparazzi showed up to harass the couple. _How lucky… _However he still had to take care of… her…

Bringing the pink haired woman into his bedroom, he placed her gently on top of the mattress where she just stared at him innocently-no eerily innocently. Her eyes were two shades darker and cloudier than her typical pristine aquamarine eyes. Long, black eyelashes lowered as a faint blush appeared upon her cheeks. _Oh baby!_

"Gakupoo, I'm _thirsty_…"

"I'll get you a glass of wat-"Just as he was about to leave, her hands tightly clutched the fabric of his shirt.

"No…" she flustered brightly. "That's not what I'm _**thirsty**_ for…"

"You want blood?" he asked, dumbly.

"I want _you_," Her lips landed on his to his surprised. As soft and tempting they were, he refused to open his mouth despite the pink haired woman had her hands snaked into his shirt. Pouting angrily from his lack of effort, she withdrew from the kiss.

Breathing heavily, Gakupo replied, "Luka, stop it! You're not yourself." _Well you are, but you're not exactly thinking you're your usual self… I think? GAH!_

"B-But why?"Somehow, her small voice was arousing him and his hormones swarming in a heated frenzy. _Why? Why did she have so be so damn cute?_ He could have stayed away from Meiko's pub and avoid this dreadful and _painful_ orgasmic situation than to get molested like this…

He ignored his horny conscious screaming and continued to lament his misery. But his lamentations were interrupted— _nicely_— when Luka moaned, deepened the kiss. Gakupo resisted a groan as her tongue moved restlessly inside his mouth and against his tongue. It became warm between their mouths, inside his mouth and mostly inside his pants, which was _suffering_ the most. The pink haired woman pulled away from the kiss for a second, her tongue sticking out with a thin strand of saliva connecting her tongue from his. Out of disbelief, Gakupo widened his eyes. Slowly, she put her tongue back inside her mouth and smiled sweetly at him.

_How can she smile like that after raping my mouth?_ Once again to his dismay, she kissed him again. This time, Gakupo didn't resist, only to leave crescent marks of his nails inside of his clenched fists as he drowned in her pouring ecstasy…

**Side note: **Whoa, Luka as a _**SEME **_and Gakupo as the _**UKE**_! OwO

Definition: usually used in Yaoi manga, the_ Seme_ is the aggressive, masculine, or plainly the person on top (aka the dominant) Remember the song Ona Ona Danjo with Miku, Luka, Rin, and Meiko? Seme is also the "active." ^^

While the Uke is the opposite of the Seme. The Uke is "passive" or plainly on the bottom ._. Now excuse me, I need a _tampon_ for my major nose bleed. XD


	8. Man Pride

**Author's rant: **Sploosh!

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_._

**S**_h_E**n**_A_n**I**_g_A**n**_S_

_X_**o**_X_

**M**_**A**_**N P**_**R**_**ID**_**E**_

_X_**o**_X_

_._

_._

_._

He woke up from the streak of light that peeked through his dusty blinders. _What the Hell happened? _Gakupo struggled to reminisce his long night, but his amethyst eyes snapped wide open as the memories flooded into his mind once he saw long strands of pastel colored hair wrapped around his torso.

_T-this is… _His eyes traveled to the floor and noticed different articles of clothing were carelessly tossed near the bed. _We couldn't have…? ARE THOSE PASTEL COLORED PANTIES?_

His sleeping partner didn't budge from her spot during his silent panic. _She looks so cute in her sleep… is __**that**__ what I think it is? _The purple haired man felt his cheeks turning red when he caught a glimpse of some sort of white cream that seeped out of the corner of her mouth. _That… can't be…_ Cautiously he took a whiff of the air. _I think it smells like __**it**__ too! _He shivered. Not because he was shirtless or the fact that he liked what he was seeing, but he shivered at the thought of her waking up. _Hello Kitty…_

Luka slightly stirred in her sleep, but continued burying her head into his bare chest with her hands tightly gripping his left hand. He listened to her mumble before she resumed falling back to sleep. _WE DID DO IT! OH MY EFFING- _Gakupo tried to take his left hand back, but the pink haired woman only tightened her grip. _UGH! Bones crushing… also cutting off circulation! _He stopped resisting for her to loosen the tension around his already purple hand.

Somewhat fortunately for him, his right hand wasn't near her grasp, but his eyes widened as the he noticed the first thing he felt was something plushy, large, and round…

_Hell no… _He repressed his groan that only sounded like a stifling whimper out loud. Front or back didn't matter as the purple haired man knew he was far beyond violating her. Gakupo tried to move his hand, but his face continued to burn and spread as plushier flesh came in contact with his large palm. He swore he felt the vibrations of her moan pressed into him. _Why me? WHY? _

Once Gakupo had his free hand removed out beneath her flat belly, he once again checked his surroundings with his hand on the sheet that covered their bodies. _Please still be wearing them! _He shut his eyes tight to swiftly pull the sheet from her figure. _CRAP! _His eyes widened when he peeked what he thought he _saw_, causing him to let go of the sheet. Once the fabric fell back to her body, he stared with astonishment at the ceiling.

_Come and get seconds, Luka-Luka babe! _His conscious leered.

_Would you stay out of this? _The man yelled, exasperated at himself.

_The damage was done; at least enjoy it till it lasts! Remember, you __**banged**__ Megurine Luka!_

The purple haired man rubbed his chin, pondering, _you're right… opportunities such as these don't come often! I-I did do it! _With her head still resting against his chest, his fingers slowly ran through her hair.

_Of course you did! Didn't you see that on the corner of her mouth! That's enough proof! _His inner self snickered devilishly.

Once again -_fortunately_- (for him), her hand moved and lingered on his upper thigh. His groin madly twitched and throbbed. _She's still horny!_ The purple haired man shrieked in his head. _Come on! Let go already, Luka! You had your fun, now leave me be! SHOO!_

_Ding! Ding! Round two! _Gakupo's hormones swarmed and jumped up in glee, screaming _"Sex! Sex! SEX!"_

While he was trying to pry her fingers away, he didn't notice her eyes snapped open and were already looking around.

"Where am I?"

The purple haired man stayed still. _Shit!_

"This isn't my bedroom," her voice became loud and clear.

_She's going to kill me! _He stiffly laid there while the pink haired woman scrambled around confused, on top of him.

"What the hell am I…" her eyes met his. _It's the LOOK! _Gakupo couldn't pull away from her mesmerizing stare. "Oh it's you, _Gakupoo_!" The pink haired woman squealed and glomped on top of him. _Ugh, they're heavy, but soft! _He stiffly laid there on his back, unresponsive.

"What's wrong?" she looked at him curiously and poked his nose.

_Oh right… she's still on morphine. That Kiyoteru! _Gakupo played along sheepishly and held her to sit up, "Yes, it's me… did you sleep well, Luka-chan?"

She stretches her arms and yawns out, "Surprisingly well from _our_ night!" Luka smiled cutely. "Didn't you enjoy it?"

"Why don't you tell me what we _did_ last night," Gakupo laughed half heartedly. _Hopefully it'll bring back some semi-sweet memories… _He felt his nose slightly tingling for a nosebleed at the possible thought of their_ fun_ night.

"Well," she tapped her chin. "We were kissing."

"Uh huh."

"And then, it got hot," the pink haired woman squinted her eyes, concentrated on the past. "We took off our shirt."

"Were we touching?" he closed his eyes, visualizing the entire scene.

Luka nodded, "We were, but then…"

"Then?"

"I told you I wanted something _warm_ and _sticky_… And then you mentioned something about that you have **TONS** of it if I was very good girl." her voice trailed off. "I remember it tasted really, _really __**GOOD**_."

_Holy crap, we didn't-! _Gakupo's entire body quivered from the building anticipation. "Then?" _Give it to me! Come on and let it all out! ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!_

She slowly said, "So when it was quiet at night, you picked me up and took me into your kitchen…" _Funny I imagined it in the shower…_

"Then you placed me on the counter," Luka added thoughtfully. "And that's when everything got _**MESSY**_. Then…" The way her voice faltered and lowered made him shudder at the wondrous, streamy thoughts in his head.

"Then?" he sighed, secretly snaking his hand around her petit waist.

Luka giggled, "I asked you if you had any cake mix."

_Say what? _His hand froze near the curve.

"Yeah, we baked a cake!" she laughed. "Of course the batter was getting EVERYWHERE and that homemade vanilla icing was so good." The pink haired woman licked her lips where the leftover cream was. "We should do it again some time. Be right back!" She got off of the terribly confused and distraught purple haired man and scampered to the bathroom.

Once he heard the thud of the bathroom door closing, Gakupo darted his eyes back to the tossed clothes all over his floor. _We weren't wearing anything and yet, we didn't do ANYTHING? How does that work out? _He ranted in his head. With his skull throbbing with hurt pride, he sulked, _Oh we did do something… we baked a cake. But wait at least I still get to see her wearing nothing!_

Humming as she returned into the room, the expression on his face was once again crestfallen. _She's wearing a towel… maybe if she tripped over her large bra, I can see some more!_

"What's with the sad puppy dog face, Gakupoo?" Luka tilted her head cutely. "Aren't we supposed to start the commercial today?"

A light bulb lit up in his head. He quickly answered, "You're right! We should get going with that! Let me call the stylists and photographer to set up! You better hurry and wash up!" Once the ditzy Luka bubbly skipped back into the bathroom, the purple haired man clasped his hands tightly and grinned widely. _Opportunity is knocking on the door and I'm going to answer it!_

**Side note:** Sorry for making this chapter so short. Just thought I'd post this before putting SHENANIGANS on hold for my other stories that will be added. Please be patient and please review would be much appreciated for a more pumped-up chapter!

And I know. Gakupo just can't seem to win… or can he?

Congratulations to Sydney Grise for noticing that! ^^ I wish there was a Cantarella version for them :X


	9. Conundrum

**Author's notice:** I am sorry about the late update. I've been caught up with school work, that I forgot I had the chapter in my notebook. Hehe sorry ^^" With a few adjustments, I hope this chapter is alright.

I think I've been watching too much Miyazaki films ._. Spirited Away FTW!

Lyrics to Cutie Honey and Secret do not belong to me!_._

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**S**_h_E**n**_A_n**I**_g_A**n**_S_

_X_**o**_X_

**C**_**O**_**N****U**_**N**_**D****R**_**U**_**M**

_X_**o**_X_

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**HONEY FLASH!**

**(Cue theme song cover by Luka)**

_Kono goro hayari no onnanoko  
Oshiri no chiisana onnanoko  
Kocchi wo muite yo HANII  
Datte nan daka  
Datte datte nanda mon  
_

**(Cue excessive sparkles and giant fan for dramatic hair blowing effect)**

_Imadoki ninki no onna no ko_

_PUKU- to BOIN no onna no ko_

_Kotchi wo muite yo HANII_

_Datte nan da ka datte datte nan da mon_

**(Cue clothes rip and CENSOR)**

The pink-haired woman spoke in an adorable, innocent tone, "Tired of having panties that rip easily? Then you need the Resisting PANTSU! It's extremely durable, it's as soft as wearing cotton on your tushie, and you'll love the fact that it CANNOT rip!"

**(Cue fighting shadowy demons that attempt to claw)**

_IYA yo IYA yo IYA yo_

_mitsumechau IYA_

_HANII FURASHU_

"Not a single scratch! Buy it at only stores of Kamui Gakupo's Feminine Aesthetics," Luka smiled widely and winked. "Now available in lusciously-sweet rose, warm-me-up white, sensual-touch nude, and voracious-vixen noir!"

_Kawaru wa yo…_

**(Cue pink fiery finale)**

"It's-, "he sniffed as a tear formed from the corner of his eye. "Perfect!" Gakupo exclaimed with jubilation as he blew into a tissue. He then admired the life size poster of Megurine Luka bent over as if she ripped her panties for she was wearing his most ultimate intimate piece of lingerie! _Great legs! _The delight of a nose bleed made the purple haired man sigh. This piece of art was certainly going to be hanging in his coveted walk-in closet. _Right next to Mura-chan! (_A/N – _Mura-chan_ is his beloved overgrown eggplant named Murasaki preserved in a cryogenic pod.)

"Quit watching it already!" Luka complained. A visible blush spread on her face.

Gakupo shook his head and chuckled, "I can't." He showed her his reddened cheek of where she slapped him once she was off of the morphine. Thank goodness they recorded the commercial before she came to. "You're just too dazzling here."

"What's so dazzling about prancing around as a Cutie Honey wannabe in indestructible panties?"

"Cutie Honey is an inspiring woman, darling! She's bold. She's beautiful. She's-"

"Incredibly stupid," Luka sighed as she face-palmed.

"There is nothing stupid about art!" Gakupo defended. "Don't you see, this commercial is a message to the rape victims that they CAN resist!, that they don't have to bow down to-"

"Now you're just making up crap," she rolled her eyes. "What's your next idea; titanium bras with special bullet-proof padding?"

"Hey, keep that down low!" he hushed as he covered her mouth. _That's not a horrible idea! _

_Tell me now, that you really like the show._

_Tell me now, that you really want to get high._

Removing his hand from her mouth, he dug into his pockets for his phone. "What's up?" He swore he heard her giggle about using her song for a ringtone.

"Where are you?"

"Leon? I've just finished shooting a commercial with Luka."

"Do you know how much Luka's manager is harassing me?" Leon mumbled.

"Huh?"

"The guy thinks she was abducted by the paparazzi!"

"No, she's been with me this whole time," Gakupo assured.

The blond-haired man sighed, "Yeah, but he doesn't know. I suggest you let him know about you two being a couple and your partnership."

"I will, but why didn't he call Luka this whole time then?" he asked.

"My phone's battery died yesterday," Luka meekly replied.

"Ah, never mind, Leon. Where should I meet him?"

"Ask Luka to take you back to the hotel she's staying at," Leon answered.

.

.

.

Word vomit: that perfectly described what was in Kamui Gakupo's mind. Barely relieved, he sat awkwardly on her bed as he was surrounded by objects of different shades in the pink spectrum. _At least I'm color coordinated with black and purple. This woman's a furry pink troll! _He thought as he resisted grimacing at the doily-covered futon or the furry hot pink walls.

"I'll be right back," she said as she stepped into the bathroom. Once he heard the door shut, Gakupo let out a sigh of his stress.

_Her manager practically attacked me! _Gakupo scowled. _Does he spend yelling at himself in the mirror every day? What a maniac… _His frown widened as he thought of the same blue-haired man screaming at his face, even claiming a restraining order against the musician.

From the corner of his eye, he caught movement in a tiny, opaque tank placed upon a small coffee table adjacent to where he was sitting. Creeping closer to the unusual pet, he let out a slow chuckle. _I didn't think she was the type to own pets. It's probably a goldfish or a small turtle. _Just as he was about to lift the lid of the tank, he pondered about its content once more, _maybe it's a snake… she is a psychopath after all. Whatever it is, she seriously doesn't want people to notice it immediately. Well show me your face, little cu-! _To his surprise, his hand let the lid shut air tight onto the tank and he shivered, trying to forget that **THING**.

.

.

.

"Don't they ever clean?" the pink-haired woman grumbled as she closed the bathroom door. Right away, Luka noticed Gakupo cowering in the corner, his arms folded across his body in fetal position. Gingerly walking towards him and tilting her pretty head, she asked, "What's wrong with you?"

"P-Pa-Pa," he sputtered madly. _Hello Kitty and now this?_

"Pa-Pa-Pa Poker face?" Luka asked while giggling a little.

The purple haired man whimpered and shook his head rapidly. He hastily muttered more nonsense about a face that confused her further.

Already frustrated by his antic and not comprehending what he was scared of within a minute, she seethed through her teeth exasperatedly, "Just spit it, Gakupo."

At that moment, the tank shook with a tiny arm hanging out. Letting out a frightened squeal, his finger twitched as he pointed to the pink tank on the other side of the room. _FACE!_

Still puzzled, Luka headed to the direction. Yelping, the purple haired man held onto her leg with a vice grip.

"What?" she growled as she was unaffected to the bewildered look in his eyes. Once again, Gakupo refused to answer and only tightened his grip. Sighing, she dragged her leg with brute force despite the constant groaning pleas of the purple haired man whose butt was being chaffed by the surface of the fuzzy, pink carpet. "God damn it, let go!"

Just as Luka was about to lift the lid of the tank, Gakupo finally found the guts to let his voice scream out, "STOP!"

To this, she raised a brow. Strumming her fingers on the top of the tank, she coyly asked, "And why not?"

"It's not a pet!" He let out a scream as soon as her fingers were tightly latched onto the cover. "It's destructive! It'll destroy EVERYTHING!"

The pink haired woman feigned a gasp. "Oh what shall we do, Gakupo?"

"Throw it out window-no! Into the toilet or- hurl it into the firepla-"The purple haired man stopped speaking as his jaw dropped as familiar blank eyes stared into his, creating a terrifying and excruciating memory.

It blinked a few times. Gakupo blinked too.

It widened it eyes. Gakupo felt the need to cry.

It raised its tentacles. As if a loaded kamikaze suicide fighter plane was going to land on him, Gakupo screamed, "**PONYO**!" He dove for the frilly bed and hid under the pink covers, shaking. _Don't look at it! Fish with faces will cause a tsunami!_

"Look at her," Luka demanded.

"No!"

"Just look at her for a sec."

"No!"

"Look at her or else I slip her into the sheets."

"… Fine," he groaned. Withdrawing from the covers, he sat upright on the bed and he made sure to keep his eyes closed as Luka walked to him.

"Hold out your hands." Gakupo hesitated for a second, but obeyed to her order. He felt his heart dropped when she placed the cold, slimy "pet" in his hands. The weight of it frightened him, but he dare not look at it so soon.

"Open your eyes." Once he did, the purple haired man fainted as soon as he saw the tiny creature mouth opened to an o-shape.

_What a wuss_, she rolled her eyes and took her pet from Gakupo's hands. Luka helped him lie properly on the bed. She brushed the violet strands from his sleeping face, admiring how peaceful he seemed when he wasn't panicking. His lips were curved as if to entice her to touch them. As she was about to lean in, she felt her pocket vibrating. Sighing, she greeted in a monotone voice, "Hello?"

"Is this Megurine Luka?" an unfamiliar male voice asked.

"This is she. May I ask who are you?"

She listened to the uncomfortable attempt her caller did to clear his throat as if he was to share some bad news. He replied, "I'm an attorney called by-"He mentioned an unforgettable name, causing Luka to gasp. The caller understood her being shock, but continued, "He hired me to assist you with claiming his possessions. If you can come back to Kyoto at-"

As the attorney recited the address, her thoughts were in frenzy as more memories flooded into her head.

"_You're going too fast!" a young Luka screamed as the wind whipped their hair._

_The dark haired boy laughed, "Not fast enough!" He pedaled to make her squeal and laugh as she held onto his hips tighter._

A beat louder than anything she had ever heard was deafening her ears. Please…

.

"_You listen to operas?" She asked with one of his headphones in her ear._

_._

"_Is there something wrong with a guy into Tosca?" he pouted._

_._

"I-"she panted, feeling the room was spinning. _Someone… _Her lids felt heavy.

.

_She breathed in his sweet scent of peppermint as she huddled closer to him for warmth. "Together?" She blushed when he smiled sincerely under the bright city lights._

_._

"_Always…"_

_._

Tears were already streaming down her face. _Anybody…_

"I'm sorry to say this."

The unconscious Gakupo didn't hear her muffled cries. _God, just please…_

"He's dead."

Not even Gakupo could hear the loud thud of the cell phone that dropped. _Help me…_

Author's note: Phew, that took some sleep from me, but I feel better that I got that off my back. What shall happen to Luka? Will Gakupo ever find out? Why the hell Kishes did make this chapter dramatic when it's supposed to be a humor/ romance story? Oh and for those who want the translation of the parts of the Cutie Honey lyrics I used, here they are (they're from Anime lyrics):

_She's the sort of girl who's always in fashion_

_And her behind is the cutest one we know of_

_Please look my way Honey!_

_On account of, on account of just because_

_She's the sort of girl who's always in fashion_

_And her breasts are the nicest ones we know of_

_Please look my way Honey!_

_On account of, on account of just because_

_Oh, don't, No don't_

_Give me that look in your eye_

_Honey Flash!_

_I'm going to change…_

The other lyrics are from Megurine Luka's "Secret," which is stuck in my head. Anyways please read and review! ^-' HONEY FLASH!


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